Co-parenting versus Parallel parenting?
Serving Families Across Oakland County, Macomb County, and Livingston County – Including Troy, Rochester Hills, Farmington Hills, Novi, Howell, Brighton, and Bloomfield.
Navigating custody and parenting time after a divorce or separation can be a challenging process. In Michigan, the best interests of the child are prioritized when determining custody and parenting time arrangements. But beyond the courtroom, the way parents actually choose to engage with each other can make all the difference in a child’s well-being.
Two common parenting methods used by separated or divorced parents are co-parenting and parallel parenting. Understanding the differences between these approaches can help you decide which best supports your child’s emotional stability and growth.
Co-Parenting in Michigan
The co-parenting method is typically present when there is a joint legal custody order, meaning both parents share decision-making authority about the children. It works best when parents can maintain a cooperative relationship, communicate effectively, and make joint decisions regarding their child’s health, education, and welfare.
Key features of a co-parenting method may include:
- Attend school events and extracurricular activities together,
- Keep transitions between homes stress-free and consistent,
- Communicate openly and respectfully—often through texts, email, or parenting apps,
- Prioritize conflict resolution to avoid exposing children to tension.
Tips to strengthen your co-parenting relationship:
- Listen to your co-parent’s perspective, even if you don’t agree.
- Stay flexible—parenting time orders may need to change as children grow.
- Seek support from a therapist, mediator, or child psychologist if needed.
This is ideal for lower-conflict situations where both parties can set aside their differences for the sake of their children. Ultimately, this method reduces stress on the children because it allows the children to build and maintain close bonds with both parents without feeling like they are “choosing sides.” As our family court judges often remind us, no child should have to choose between their parents.
Parallel Parenting in Michigan
When communication between parents is consistently unproductive or creates high-conflict situations, parallel parenting may be a preferred approach. This method is often employed in Michigan custody cases where parents share parenting time but struggle to maintain an effective, cooperative relationship. The Friend of the Court staff here in Oakland County is so familiar with these high-conflict cases. The very same things can be said about the Referees in Livingston County and Macomb County.
Unlike co-parenting, parallel parenting involves strict boundaries and minimal direct contact between the parents. Each parent handles their responsibilities during their parenting time, and communication is limited to essentials only, typically in writing (such as text messages) or through parenting apps like AppClose or OurFamilyWizard. Interaction between the parents is minimal, and children don’t benefit from having both their parents on the same page.
Key features of a parallel parenting method may include:
- Clearly defined parenting schedules with minimal variation,
- Limited communication, unless emergencies arise, only in written form,
- Specific roles and responsibilities are outlined for each parent.
Tips for effective parallel parenting:
- Communicate only when necessary, and keep messages brief, respectful, and focused only on the children and their needs.
- Build a strong support system and focus on your own well-being as well as that of the children.
- Remind yourself that limiting contact isn’t a failure; it’s a protective measure for your children.
This approach still gives the child access to both parents but reduces the child’s exposure to ongoing conflict. Shielding the child from direct conflict between parents is a good way to protect their overall well-being.
Choosing What Works Best for Your Family
In an ideal world, low-conflict, effective co-parenting is the goal in our Michigan Family Court. But the circumstances of every relationship don’t always allow for it. Only you, as parents, know the realities and limitations of your situation. If your relationship has become so strained that it’s affecting your child’s well-being, it may be time to explore a parallel parenting model. In some circumstances, a modification of your custody order to include stricter rules and a more defined structure may be beneficial. This is an option to discuss with your family law attorney.
If you’re unsure how to proceed, the family law attorneys at The Kronzek Firm can help. We represent families throughout Oakland County, including Birmingham, Royal Oak, Ferndale, and West Bloomfield, and we understand the importance of a healthy parenting approach. We have helped thousands of clients during more than 30 years of practicing family law.
Need Guidance on Co-Parenting or Parallel Parenting?
At The Kronzek Firm, we help families in Oakland County, Metro Detroit, Livingston County, and across Michigan find parenting solutions that work. Whether you’re modifying an existing court order or seeking one, our experienced Michigan custody attorneys are here to support you. Your child’s future is worth protecting, with the right parenting approach and a legal team that understands your needs. We’re available 24/7 for crisis intervention.
📞 Call our Oakland County (Farmington Hills) office today at (248) 479-6200 to schedule a consultation to discuss your options.
[Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Consult an attorney for personalized guidance.]