Deciding whether to stay together or get divorced is an incredibly hard choice. Add kids into the mix and the issue gets even harder. There are couples all over Oakland County who choose to stay together for the benefit of their children, though their marriages are unhappy. The reason behind this choice is because they believe they’re choosing what’s best for their children. But is staying together for the kids really the best choice? Let’s take a look…
Studies are clear on what kind of home is best for a child. Children raised in stable, loving, two parent homes invariably suffer less depression, anxiety and rebellious behavior. They also tend to get better grades, and have a greater capacity for successful intimate relationships with others. So is it always better to stay together? The question is a valid one, because a key part of this equation is the “stable, loving, two parent” portion. What happens if the two parents are not stable and loving?
Studies show that children raised in two parent homes where there is constant conflict are actually more likely to struggle with stress and defiant behavior and have issues with discipline, than children raised in stable and loving single parent homes. So if the studies are correct, and children do better when their parents get divorced rather than stay in a relationship which is full of anger, arguing and instability, is divorce really the best answer?
The truth is, there is no “correct” answer to that question, and no easy choice. Divorce is always difficult, no matter what the circumstances. Staying together can be equally hard when your marriage is conflicted. So before making that decision, there are a few things you should consider:
Analyze The Conflict.
Ask yourself what is the reason you are considering divorce. All relationships go through ups and downs, and so it’s perfectly normal for a marriage to have periods of difficulty and doubt. Ask yourself whether the issues you and your spouse are facing stem from something current in your marriage that could be resolved in time, or is it an ongoing problem for which you see no resolution.
Can “Third Party Mediation” Help?
If you and your spouse are willing to invest time in trying to save your relationship but don’t know how to go about it, there are many avenues available to you including counseling, books and even retreats. Many relationships can be saved from the brink of disaster as long as both parties haven’t lost hope or interest. Decide whether or not you believe your marriage can be saved, or if you can live with the current status quo.
Join us next time, as we look at the remaining items on our list, and work towards finding a solution for this problem. Until then, if you or a loved one have reached the point where you believe your marriage isn’t worth saving, call The Kronzek Firm at 248 479-6200. Our highly skilled family law attorneys have spent decades helping Oakland County families pick up the pieces and achieve a brighter future. We can help you too!