Be Prepared to Lose Loved Ones When You Get Divorced!

Child sitting on swing set

Getting a divorce can mean losing a lot of people, not just a spouse!

People respond differently to the news that a friend or family member is getting divorced. For some, the news is met with relief, especially if the person ending their marriage has been unhappy for years. Sometimes people respond with sorrow, or even pity. But for some, all they can muster is anger! And this means you’re likely to lose a few loved ones in the process!

Obviously you can’t make decisions about your future based on the opinions of relatives, friends and associates. So if you’re going to file for divorce in Oakland County or Macomb County, you need to be prepared to lose a few loved ones and make a few enemies along a way. So who exactly can you expect to disagree with over the issue of your split? Well, there are several. Here’s a list of the most likely candidates:

Your spouse:

Unless your spouse happens to be in the same spot as you – unhappy and desperate to get out – then the answer to this one is, “Obviously!” For those who are lucky enough to have reasonable spouses who will work with them to keep the divorce amicable, this shouldn’t be an issue. However, if you made this decision on your own, expect resistance from your spouse. (Along with anger, hurt feelings, resentment, and bitterness.)

Your mother-in-law:

This one’s kind of a given. Unless your spouse happens to be a rotten human being, and their mother is aware enough to acknowledge this fact, your decision is likely to be met with resistance! If you’re lucky, your mother-in-law loves you and wants to continue her relationship with you, even after you divorce her son or daughter. But for many people in Detroit and the surrounding neighborhoods, their former mother-in-law is one of their most bitter enemies after the divorce! We smile and remember cases that we’re worked with in-laws in Bloomfield Hills, Farmington and Royal Oak. OMG!

Your spouse’s friends:

Friends are loyal. It’s part of what makes them friends. So if you’ve decide to end your marriage, your friends are probably going to support your choice. However, in the same way, you should expect your spouse’s friends to support them too. And if they’re hurt by the choice, their friends are likely to take up arms in their defense. So any freindships you may have gained in that camp, you’ll probably lose now.

Your spouse’s attorney:

Surprised? You shouldn’t be. After all, this person is paid to be your adversary! It’s their job to advocate for your spouse in the Oakland County Family Court. They won’t hesitate to drag your name through the mud  if they have to, and to make you look bad in order to get their client the best possible resultl. However, remember that this adversarial relationship is purely professional. Your spouse’s attorney doesn’t hold a grudge against you personally – they’re just doing their job! Those of us that have been around the block a few times, have figured out that we need not be mean or nasty to anybody to be great family law attorneys in the courthouse in Pontiac.

Your soon-to-be-ex’s new romantic interest:

If your spouse starts up a new relationship, either during the divorce proceedings or shortly afterwards, their new love interest probably won’t be your biggest fan! Why? Because all they’ve heard about you is how badly you’ve broken their new lover’s heart, and what a terrible person you are! So you can hardly blame them.

Your kids:

This is a tricky one, and it doesn’t always belong on this list. Some parents are lucky enough to never be blamed by their kids for their divorce. But it doesn’t always work that way. Some kids, especially teens, carry grudges and blame their parents for wrecking their families. All you can do is give them the time and space to work through their feelings. Bear in mind that if they’re mad at you because you really did wreck your marriage (you cheated?), then the healing process may take a lot longer. But if they’re mad at you because your ex is poisoning them against you in an effort to alienate you, you need to get professional help immediately! Our family law attorneys are big advocates for having counselors involved to help with the healing and recovery process. We’re fortunate to have some fabulous resources here in Oakland County.

Are you ready to call it quits in your marriage?

if you or a loved one have decided to end your marriage (in the face of the social fallout) come and talk to us. Our highly skilled Oakland County family law attorneys can help you work out all of the details for your future, from divorce settlements and custody agreements, to spousal support and parenting time. Call The Kronzek Firm at (248) 479-6200 at any time of day or night. Our office is in Farmington Hills. We’re here for you.

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