How To Catch A Cheating Spouse (Part 1)

Woman spying through blinds holding binoculars

Ever wondered if your spouse is cheating on you?

Have you ever wondered if your spouse may be stepping out on you? Getting a little something on the side, as they say? Well, if so, you aren’t alone. Thousands of people face this devastating reality every day, and no wonder – because according to a wide array of data sources, thousands of people cheat on their husbands and wives every day.

But if that’s the case, how can you tell? How does one determine whether or not their spouse is having an affair? After all, no one wants to make unwarranted accusations and risk destroying their marriage simply because they got the facts wrong. So how does one figure out if their spouses is straying? Well, while there are no hard and fast rules about how to catch a cheating spouse, there are a number of options available to suspicious husbands and wives…

Confront them:

While the conversation itself may be incredibly uncomfortable, there is no faster way of getting to the truth than to simply ask for it. If you are certain you have reason to suspect your spouse of being unfaithful, ask them about it. Then watch their reaction. Do they get angry? Are they hurt? Offended? Do they scramble to provide explanations for their recent absences, lying themselves into a corner? Or are they genuinely shocked by your accusation, and offer to talk it through until you’re satisfied? While it seems simple, a frank and upfront conversation can sometimes shed a whole lot of light on an issue.

  • Pros: Talking about it first means you don’t have to spend days or weeks agonizing over whether or not it’s happening. It can save time, money and stress. And if your spouse admits an affair, you can choose your next course of action without delay.
  • Cons: Asking about an affair may be viewed as an accusation by your spouse, and if they happen to be innocent of wrongdoing, your lack of trust can do serious damage to your relationship. Also, remember that they may lie to you about the affair. However, the fact that you raised the point means that now they know you suspect them and they will work harder in future to get rid of evidence and hide their indiscretions. This could make catching them in the act that much harder.    

Hire a private detective:

If you think that your spouse is sneaking off to cheap motels with their new love interest while claiming to work late, or going to “boring work conferences” out of town in order to spend a weekend with their lover, you may find it difficult to follow them without being seen. After all, they would recognize you anywhere, and they are probably already operating on ‘high alert’ because they are going to great lengths to not get caught. This is where private detectives can come in handy.

  • Pros: On the upside, a private detective knows a lot of tricks for following people without being seen and gathering the evidence you need without being caught. They already own the right equipment, and can get the result you want quickly and quietly so you can be on the phone to a divorce attorney that much faster.
  • Cons: The downside is most commonly the cost. Private detectives are not cheap. Hours of sitting in a car in the dark watching for a glimpse of your sneaking spouse, or sitting in hotel lobbies pretending to read the paper will eat up your down payment in no time. So unless money is no object, this might not be the best solution for you. Licensed private detectives in Michigan typically charge around $100 an hour for their time. Add in charges for mileage and maybe electronic surveillance equipment, and you’re likely looking at a significant expense.

Join us next week, when we look at the next two items on the list of how to catch a cheating spouse, and discuss the pros and cons associated with each option.

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