How do I Talk to my Fiance About a Prenuptial Agreement? (Pt. 1)

Couple riding bike
Having “that talk” with your fiance can be very hard, but it’s important!

Most couples who are in love and planning to tie the knot, are caught up in the romance of wedding planning. The things they’re discussing in everyday conversation tend to revolve around flowers, locations, music and guest lists. What they don’t tend to think about, or want to talk about, is what they’ll do with their savings account if their marriage fails. Or how they will deal with custody issues if they ever get divorced. Believe it or not, lots of newlyweds get divorced right here in our own Oakland County.

Couples getting married often overlook the importance of a prenup.

And who can blame them? Who wants to go into your wedding having prepared for possible divorce? Answer: smart people. Because whether or not we like it, divorce is a part of reality, a very big part, when you consider current statistics in Michigan. And even the most devoted couples can hit rough patches that they don’t survive. And being prepared in advance can make a stressful and emotional situation that much easier to deal with! Our Oakland County Family Court is a tough place to navigate.

So how do you broach the subject with your beloved?

It’s a hard topic to introduce, we know. But because you’re smart and you want to cover all the bases and save yourself a ton of future misery, you’re going to put on your big girl or big boy panties and man up. But how to do it? What to say? If you’re not sure how to work this important-but-uncomfortable subject of prenuptial agreements into the conversation, here are a few good tips:

  1. Be upfront, but kind.

It’s important that you tell your partner about your need for a prenup in a straightforward and upfront way. Even if they don’t respond well initially, explain why you believe it’s the right thing to do, and how life is full of unexpected surprises (both good and bad) that can be prepared for in advance. (Think tornado prepping, first aid kits, life insurance and vaccinations.) Of course it’s important to be kind to your loved one. This is a hard subject, and for some, it can present emotional hurdles. Have compassion for them while they work to accept it, and give them a little time to get used to the idea. In Detroit, we’re mostly pretty tough people, right?

  1. Pick the right time.

When you have this conversation is just as important as how you have it! Don’t spring it on your soon-to-be-spouse with no warning, and don’t lead up to it in a drawn out and ominous way. Pick a time when you know you’ll have privacy, and tell them you need to have an important conversation. This way they don’t feel cornered or unpleasantly surprised. Also, don’t wait until days before the wedding! Preparing a prenup properly is time consuming task, and you’ll need plenty of time to do it properly. (Not to mention the fact that springing a prenup on someone days before they say I do is a guaranteed way to get your wedding cancelled at the last minute!)

Having a prenup in place can make or break your future!

If you and your fiance are considering creating a prenuptial agreement as part of your premarital plans (and we highly recommend you do!), we would like to help you with that. The Oakland County family law attorneys at The Kronzek Firm are experienced, trusted and diligent. Call us at (248) 479-6200 in our conveniently located office in Farmington Hills. Let us help you prepare for the future. And please join us next time to wrap up this discussion on how to have a discussion with your fiance about getting a prenup. You’ll be glad you did!