Welcome back! In our previous article on whether or not you should date during your divorce process, we looked at the legal and strategic reasons why it’s a pretty bad idea to start a new relationship before the old one is officially over. Moving on, we’re going to wrap it up with a break down of the last few legal and emotional reasons why you should stay single until the ink is dry on your divorce judgment.
Legal Reasons (continued):
As we pointed out previously, dating before you’re divorced may be viewed by the court as morally questionable behavior. But the court may not be the only one! New romances may be viewed by your children as “usurpers” and instantly rejected. And new relationships are particularly difficult when the kids involved hate your new flame! There is indeed a very high probability that your children will in fact dislike your new honey and they will resent you trying to replace their mother.
Bear in mind as well that if you’re engaged in a custody battle, your new relationship partner may come under close scrutiny as someone who will have frequent contact with your kids. If they have anything negative in their background (like criminal charges, prior CPS involvement, sketchy employment history, etc.) that may be used against you by your spouse’s divorce attorney, it will be!
Emotional Reasons:
A divorce can be very damaging to a person’s self esteem. It is common to struggle with feelings of loneliness, rejection and unworthiness. A new romance can help to banish these painful feelings, making a fling very appealing!. However, distracting yourself from these feelings won’t make them go away. You’ll need time to heal and process before you are healthy enough for another relationship.
Studies have shown that the first relationship a person engages in after a divorce has very little chance of long-term survival and rarely results in marriage. Starting a new relationship at a time in life when you are under great stress and pressure is unfair to both yourself and your new partner, who had nothing to do with your divorce and shouldn’t have to deal with the emotional baggage that you will have to work through. In short, rebound relationships seldom work out.
Spending some time alone, without a partner, can be very healthy for you. Getting to know who you are outside of a relationship, and what your goals and desires are for the future, will help you immensely in making peace with the past and moving on. After divorce, most people need time to heal.
Take time to heal and grow. Focus on your hobbies, your health and your children. Spend time doing things you love with friends and family who support you. Get regular exercise, good rest and eat a healthy diet. That way, when someone new comes along, you will be ready to pursue a new relationship in a way that’s healthy and stable.
Do you need help from an Oakland County Divorce Lawyer?
Getting divorced here in Oakland County can be a complex and emotionally draining process. There’s a lot to consider, and many complex steps that need to be followed in specific order. If you or a loved one are considering divorce, or want to discuss custody arrangements and spousal support possibilities, call The Kronzek Firm at (248) 479-6200. Our skilled family law attorneys can help you with every aspect of your divorce, as well as paternity issues and personal protection orders. Our team has handled hundreds of divorces over the decades. We’re here to help you in a caring and non-judgment way.