In the introductory article in this series, we looked at the first two items on the list of life events than can lead to divorce if you aren’t prepared – first on our list is your in-laws and next on the list is your first child. Moving forward, we are going to address the next two life events, namely moving into a new house, and losing your job.
Your New House
Moving can be thrilling. It’s also stressful, time consuming and lots of hard work. Add to that the fact that taking ownership of a new home, while exciting, can present a whole host of complications and conundrums that need to be navigated with care, lest they put too much pressure on your marriage.
This is no more apparent that when the move is necessitated by a new job that requires you to pick up your whole life and relocate, whether that’s somewhere else in Michigan or outside of Michigan. Finding a new school for the kids, making new friends, settling into a new community and trying to create new daily rituals and life rhythms can be a real challenge. For some people, the challenge is too great, and their marriage relationship suffers as a result.
Our family law attorneys have dealt with hundreds of divorce cases. They recommend sitting down together and discussing every aspect of the move before it happens. Talk about the possible challenges and try to strategize ways to overcome them. Having a backup plan in place and knowing exactly what is on your spouse’s mind can really help you to work through the difficulties of settling into a new home and making a new life for yourselves.
Your Lost Job
Financial troubles are cited as one of the most common reasons for divorce nowadays. A lost job, which means money troubles for most people, shouldn’t come as any surprise on this list. Going from two incomes to one, or worse – one income to none, requires major shifts in the way families spend and save their money. Nobody knows that better that those of us that have been through the tough times that we’ve seen in Michigan in the last decade.
Divorce tend to happen when a spouse loses their job and the ensuing financial burden becomes too much for the family to bear. Sometimes this is simply the natural progression of marriages that are unable to endure under the constant strain of unexpected poverty. Other times it stems from the emotional burdens of resentment at a partner’s inability to find work or the crippling depression of a spouse who has lost their source of income and can’t replace it. In any event, losing your job, while it is certainly stressful, doesn’t have to be the end of your marriage.
Our divorce lawyers recommend preparing for financial “dark days”, if possible, so that if you or your spouse ever loses your job, the burden will be less strenuous. Paying off credit cards now so that you have access to a more substantial amount of cash later during emergencies would go a long way towards reducing stress. Also, investing in a “rainy day” account for family emergencies would help to prevent the emotional trauma that comes with a lost job. Counselors all over Michigan are accustomed to helping families through difficult times.
Join us next time, when we will be wrapping up the list by discussing the last two life events that can cause divorce for couples who aren’t prepared – Your Illness and Your Empty Nest.